CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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