I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
