the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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