Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
