I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The Olympian is in my bed
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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