I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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