I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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