I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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