we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
