apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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