I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think your dad took our porno
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IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You were trust falling into bushes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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