I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
