I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
