and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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