its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
