she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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