...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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