What did we do last night that was yellow?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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