So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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areolas are like halos for boobs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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