so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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