I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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