i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
