So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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