my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
