too bad you live with your parents still
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
