I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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