i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
