He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
