Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
