i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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