tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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