I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
