i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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