Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
