Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize