That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
