There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
