At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We need to get me chipped asap
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