And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
