It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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