i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
