Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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