Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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