just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
