So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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