Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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