I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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