There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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