This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
