My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..