i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
