I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
