i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
