We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
