I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
