Welp...herpes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize