I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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