i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
