i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
