Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
