You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
